Jabfetlat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jabfetlat created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Jabfetlat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jabfetlat, he will turn you into a worm.

Jabfetlat's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Jabfetlat's Holy Commandments

1. Jabfetlat loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Do not make images of living things.