Hengupstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, compassionate dragon.

Hengupstig created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hengupstig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hengupstig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hengupstig's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hengupstig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Hengupstig's name in vain.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near mites while wearing violet kilts and balancing six platinum spheres on your legs.