Fatfedton is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fast tapir.

Fatfedton created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatfedton, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fatfedton, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fatfedton's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Fatfedton's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about dark energy near manatees while wearing yellow shoes and balancing four lead spheres on your face.

4. Never feed wheat to grasshopers while wearing skirts.

5. Run away from orange horses, for they are unholy.