Jipgessgam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, resourceful tapir.

Jipgessgam created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipgessgam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jipgessgam, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jipgessgam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Jipgessgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Jipgessgam in the centre of the settlement.

4. You must love Jipgessgam.

5. Never write about dark energy.