Lanflapweg is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate dolphin.

Lanflapweg created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanflapweg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lanflapweg, he will send minions to preach to you.

Lanflapweg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lanflapweg's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Always treat turtles with great respect.