Vankabwab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing alligator.

Vankabwab created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vankabwab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vankabwab, she will destroy your home planet.

Vankabwab's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vankabwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Vankabwab loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not cook food in pots.