Volpakbigfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, smart capybara.

Volpakbigfon created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volpakbigfon, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Volpakbigfon, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Volpakbigfon's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Volpakbigfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never hurt horses.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Volpakbigfon.