Vinkipjop is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent capybara.

Vinkipjop created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinkipjop, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vinkipjop, he will turn you into a rock.

Vinkipjop's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vinkipjop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near moths while wearing orange dresses and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

5. Never think about gravity near sharks while wearing mauve trousers and balancing five aluminium spheres on your arms.