Tarpgupfly is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, idiotic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tarpgupfly created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgupfly, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tarpgupfly, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tarpgupfly's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tarpgupfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.