Citsistif is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid seal.

Citsistif created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citsistif, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Citsistif, it will turn you into a mouse.

Citsistif's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Citsistif's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Never think ill of sick birds.

3. Never wear blue shirts.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.