Quathatdag is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish skunk.

Quathatdag created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Quathatdag, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quathatdag, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quathatdag's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quathatdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never feed lots of cherries to seals while wearing magenta stockings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.