Arfyarppom is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, proud hydra.

Arfyarppom created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfyarppom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arfyarppom, it will send minions to preach to you.

Arfyarppom's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Arfyarppom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Never feed lots of onions to frogs while wearing brown boots.