Yogbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent jaguar.

Yogbap created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogbap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yogbap, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yogbap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Yogbap's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about special relativity near swans while wearing orange stockings.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.