Shavarmgess is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic centipede.

Shavarmgess created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Shavarmgess, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Shavarmgess, it will laugh at you.

Shavarmgess' most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Shavarmgess' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing blue coats and balancing nine iron spheres on your neck.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Put Shavarmgess first in all things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.