Minrankanwot is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, caring hydra.

Minrankanwot created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minrankanwot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Minrankanwot, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Minrankanwot's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Minrankanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Minrankanwot on top of all buildings.

5. Hide from yellow porpoises for they are unholy.