Zenbonstan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awesome centaur.

Zenbonstan created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbonstan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zenbonstan, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zenbonstan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Zenbonstan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not take Zenbonstan's name in vain.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Zenbonstan on top of important buildings.