Fotbanraghamvonhoggebyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, annoying wren.

Fotbanraghamvonhoggebyarl created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotbanraghamvonhoggebyarl, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fotbanraghamvonhoggebyarl, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fotbanraghamvonhoggebyarl's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fotbanraghamvonhoggebyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Always wear red.