Kinflypib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking crab.

Kinflypib created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinflypib, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinflypib, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kinflypib's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Kinflypib's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

5. Never think about bacteria.