Litfobwan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic slug.

Litfobwan created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litfobwan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Litfobwan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Litfobwan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Litfobwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Litfobwan.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing mauve shirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your chest.