Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured goat.

Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad, she will turn you into a mole.

Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always obey Fonbafgess Lapparknuttsogbom Sad's priests.