Hogyakgup is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, calm clam.

Hogyakgup created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogyakgup, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hogyakgup, it will throw large rocks at you.

Hogyakgup's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hogyakgup's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snakes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.