Zanfossquam Linbestfun Yamdossab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, egotistical swan.

Zanfossquam Linbestfun Yamdossab created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanfossquam Linbestfun Yamdossab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zanfossquam Linbestfun Yamdossab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zanfossquam Linbestfun Yamdossab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Zanfossquam Linbestfun Yamdossab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed pineapples to rats while wearing coats.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.