Dinpasquagkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, emotional squirrel.

Dinpasquagkop created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinpasquagkop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dinpasquagkop, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dinpasquagkop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Dinpasquagkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide if four otters approach from the east.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.