Fidvenman is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, egotistical armadillo.

Fidvenman created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidvenman, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fidvenman, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fidvenman's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fidvenman's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fidvenman first in all things.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Fidvenman on top of all buildings.

5. Always wear fawn.