Taildumfigbonquillgofqueegbin Zeddobken is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless gnu.

Taildumfigbonquillgofqueegbin Zeddobken created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Taildumfigbonquillgofqueegbin Zeddobken, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Taildumfigbonquillgofqueegbin Zeddobken, she will curse you with boils.

Taildumfigbonquillgofqueegbin Zeddobken's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Taildumfigbonquillgofqueegbin Zeddobken's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never write about comets.