Gemsisved is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic lobster.

Gemsisved created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemsisved, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gemsisved, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gemsisved's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gemsisved's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near dolphins.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away from pink swans, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.