Stafcitjat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy unicorn.

Stafcitjat created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafcitjat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stafcitjat, he will turn you into a tree.

Stafcitjat's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Stafcitjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant red sculpture of Stafcitjat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stafcitjat.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.