Arfcadlag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, confident alligator.

Arfcadlag created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfcadlag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arfcadlag, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arfcadlag's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Arfcadlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not kill otters.

4. Never feed coconuts to capybaras while wearing green corsets.

5. Never feed rice to doves while wearing boots.