Tabfadpag is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humorless yak.

Tabfadpag created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabfadpag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tabfadpag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tabfadpag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tabfadpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Tabfadpag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tabfadpag.

4. Never talk about dark matter near sheep while wearing indigo tights.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.