Rullartquamgeppoghinmil is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain zebra.

Rullartquamgeppoghinmil created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullartquamgeppoghinmil, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rullartquamgeppoghinmil, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rullartquamgeppoghinmil's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Rullartquamgeppoghinmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never think about dark energy near ants while wearing blue skirts and balancing five tin spheres on your neck.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Fast once a month.