Nurmobbiss Rapkom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, loving dryad.

Nurmobbiss Rapkom created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurmobbiss Rapkom, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurmobbiss Rapkom, it will laugh at you.

Nurmobbiss Rapkom's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Nurmobbiss Rapkom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Nurmobbiss Rapkom in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mention pigs.

4. Never talk about porpoises.

5. Do not chant in public.