Yarmonfom is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, intelligent raven.

Yarmonfom created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarmonfom, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarmonfom, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yarmonfom's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Yarmonfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not take Yarmonfom's name in vain.