Ratpannat is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, able snail.

Ratpannat created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ratpannat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ratpannat, he will think nothing of it.

Ratpannat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Ratpannat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect four tin sculptures of Ratpannat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed garlic to tapirs while wearing green skirts.