Quatxemmit Wabsawarpstik Faggovcisstagfud is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, moody yak.

Quatxemmit Wabsawarpstik Faggovcisstagfud created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatxemmit Wabsawarpstik Faggovcisstagfud, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quatxemmit Wabsawarpstik Faggovcisstagfud, it will turn you into a hamster.

Quatxemmit Wabsawarpstik Faggovcisstagfud's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Quatxemmit Wabsawarpstik Faggovcisstagfud's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.