Rakquillkam Jinquamnib is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane wombat.

Rakquillkam Jinquamnib created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakquillkam Jinquamnib, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rakquillkam Jinquamnib, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rakquillkam Jinquamnib's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Rakquillkam Jinquamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Never sprint in the presence of tortoises.