Badgaring is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omniscient walrus.

Badgaring created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Badgaring, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Badgaring, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Badgaring's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Badgaring's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near sharks.

2. Never talk about dark matter near shrews while wearing black coats.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Badgaring on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed lots of onions to manatees while wearing cyan rings.

5. Do not hurt swans.