Pangtapbin is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent mouse.

Pangtapbin created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Pangtapbin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pangtapbin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pangtapbin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Pangtapbin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white great tits for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Pangtapbin's name in vain.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near porpoises while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your head.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about spacetime near goats while wearing brown stockings and balancing three silicon spheres on your chest.