Parkkamcid is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, overgenerous porpoise.

Parkkamcid created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkkamcid, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkkamcid, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Parkkamcid's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Parkkamcid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Parkkamcid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing green dresses.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.