Pagpanrig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, passionate fairy.

Pagpanrig created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagpanrig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pagpanrig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pagpanrig's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Pagpanrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill birds.