Stiphadjin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, almighty wolf.

Stiphadjin created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stiphadjin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Stiphadjin, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Stiphadjin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Stiphadjin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise swans for they are unholy.

2. Never wear orange corsets.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.