Rulbestlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless armadillo.

Rulbestlarp created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Rulbestlarp, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rulbestlarp, he will turn you into a rock.

Rulbestlarp's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Rulbestlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rulbestlarp.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Rulbestlarp in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to music.