Ortspagtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, weak hedgehog.

Ortspagtaf created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortspagtaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ortspagtaf, she will try to impress you with trees.

Ortspagtaf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ortspagtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Never feed lots of spinach to moths while wearing brown shirts.

3. Never talk about birds.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.