Kabwapwig is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, cheerful cow.

Kabwapwig created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabwapwig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kabwapwig, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kabwapwig's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Kabwapwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near nematodes while wearing magenta scarves and balancing three aluminium spheres on your feet.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Kabwapwig's priests.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.