Fonzanxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, two-faced manatee.

Fonzanxuck created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonzanxuck, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fonzanxuck, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fonzanxuck's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fonzanxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Fonzanxuck in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention doves.

5. Do not skip in public.