Sasontbess is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tiresome octopus.

Sasontbess created the Virgo Supercluster twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sasontbess, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sasontbess, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sasontbess' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Sasontbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of doves.

2. Sasontbess must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shave your arms.