Jamfomfub is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful cat.

Jamfomfub created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamfomfub, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jamfomfub, it will cry a lot.

Jamfomfub's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Jamfomfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Jamfomfub loves whales, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about optics near grasshopers while wearing blue stockings and balancing six copper spheres on your legs.