Armbagdab Hakhanhit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, generous dingo.

Armbagdab Hakhanhit created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armbagdab Hakhanhit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Armbagdab Hakhanhit, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Armbagdab Hakhanhit's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Armbagdab Hakhanhit's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Run away from magenta mites, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing black stockings.

5. Do not keep four monkeys in a large pit.