Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful meerkat.

Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf, it will turn you into a dog.

Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Always help mites.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always obey Dutdunwab Jipbonkfemkem Loopbesstaf's priests.