Gumbimfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, irritating aardvark.

Gumbimfeb created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gumbimfeb, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gumbimfeb, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gumbimfeb's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Gumbimfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Gumbimfeb on top of important buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gumbimfeb.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.