Sisrowzan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented cow.

Sisrowzan created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sisrowzan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sisrowzan, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sisrowzan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sisrowzan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Sisrowzan loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Never paint your feet mauve.